How Old Are You?

“How old are you?”

This is probably one of the most innocent yet seemingly awkward questions out there. I did stop counting when I turned 28, and sometimes I still say 28 out of habit. As innocent as this mistake was, it was an indication that I would rather be 28 than 34.

But did I really? Would I rather live the life I’ve had then compared to the one I have now? Would you? I don’t even remember what I was doing when I was 28. I think the more accurate wanting here was for me to take the person I am now, and live life as a 28-year-old person.

Why? Because at 28, life just seemed brighter, full of possibilities, more forgiving with mistakes and less “ticking ovary timelines.” And it’s here that I want to remind people that at any age, life doesn’t get dimmer, possibilities don’t stop coming, mistakes are still acceptable and common, and ovary timelines can either be addressed by science or surrendered to God.

The only time we lose that brightness and possibilities is when we start believing what people (especially the ones closest to us) and advertisers have to say. It’s a societal construct that isn’t true, unless we choose to believe it. Same goes with all the societal expectations that we were programmed with since childhood — study hard, graduate, earn money, have a family, retire, die.

The moment we realize that we don’t have to follow this sequence or timeline, the sooner we’re able to really live. And no, living with guilt for doing otherwise isn’t living either. If you end up simulating the pattern, then freely and joyfully do so, rather than doing it out of obligation.

And no, the last 2 years in quarantine aren’t “sayang.” We may have experienced losses and heartbreaks, but we’ve also grown stronger and broke through so many barriers in such a short amount of time. I’d like to believe that those who have left us did not cease existing. They are still out there, existing beautifully in a way that we cannot even begin to imagine.

And if you’re still bogged down with your number, then here’s my personal belief that you may want to consider: Time and age are man-made constructs used to create a semblance of order in this world we’re living in. So in the greater scheme of things, there is no such thing as age. We can be supremely benevolent as a child, or heartlessly wicked as an adult — age has nothing to do with it.